im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
