One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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