Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
