if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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