My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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