He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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