Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
