covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
