My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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