we have pet lesbian snakes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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