to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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