fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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