Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize