this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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