my soul wont recognize me after tonight
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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