no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
