Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
