what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
