Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
