That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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