Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
