I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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