saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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