About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
