Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize