She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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