He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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