weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
