just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
BRING THE BAGELS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
