i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
