My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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