whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
