I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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