You can't special order awesome
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
