Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
