Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
