I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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