I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
