Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
