Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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