ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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