new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
