Kiss
Puke
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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