one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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