is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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