I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
