i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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