I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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