I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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