True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
