so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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