My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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