He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
