Reggie can tackle my bush.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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