We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
