I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
