He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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